


Just Take Your Time

by PartridgeOnAPearTree



Series: NSFW Bedi-tober Challenge [16]
Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Female Bedivere, Lactation Kink, Memory Alteration, Pregnancy, Rule 63, Yandere, Yandere Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:35:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27557716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PartridgeOnAPearTree/pseuds/PartridgeOnAPearTree
Summary: NSFW Bedi-tober Challenge Day 16: LactationBedivere has to leave Avalon to fulfill her duty. She didn't know that that will be easier said than done.
Relationships: Bedivere | Saber/Merlin | Caster
Series: NSFW Bedi-tober Challenge [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1952083
Comments: 5
Kudos: 23





	Just Take Your Time

**Author's Note:**

> all you have to do is stay

Merlin’s embrace is tight, warm, and full of longing. Bedivere couldn’t see his face. It was deeply buried on her chest. With how he adamantly refused to move, she might even guess that he's crying. She runs her fingers through his hair—always so unkempt, always so soft, and always so familiar. Just last night, the same softness tickled her body as they passionately made love to each other. It’s quite bittersweet to be feeling the exact same sensation right now.

“It’s not like you to be so worried.”

He doesn’t reply.

“…It’ll be okay. With your magic and the sword you refashioned to be my arm, everything will be okay.”

Merlin still doesn’t let go.

“Merlin…” She places her chin on top of his head and hugs him closer. “Don’t worry. Just smile like you always do. If you show me your smile, it’ll inspire me and keep me warm.”

“You already know, right?” Merlin speaks for the first time, his embrace tightening further. “Regardless of the result of this upcoming battle, you will die.”

“Yes.”

“Your soul exhausted, ousted from the cycle of reincarnation, your existence will fall into the void…”

“Yes… I know.”

Merlin doesn’t talk again.

“It’ll be fine.”

“I love you.”

“Thank you, Merlin...”

“…I love you.”

“…Thank you.”

“…”

\--

(#1)

“Good morning, Bedivere.”

Bedivere shuts her eyes tighter as the sunrays shine on her face. She turns to her side to escape from it, and she hears a chuckle. “Come on. It’s time to wake up. You said you'll help me collect herbs today.”

She groans, slowly opening her eyes. The man in front of her has a fond smile as he watches. One of his elbows rest on her bed while he sits on the floor. He seems so contented just watching even if he was telling her to get up and she hasn’t done anything to indicate that she's about to comply.

Her mind still feels a bit fuzzy, and it takes a few more seconds before she remembers what she's supposed to be doing.

Right. She promised Merlin that she will help him gather herbs and assist him in crafting a curative tonic that was requested from him. Ever since they got married, Bedivere has helped Merlin with his various duties as the kingdom’s doctor. Bedivere herself isn’t really educated in medicine, but Merlin has taught her how to craft weak medicine and salves for when she herself might need it. Since then, she takes the chance to help when these simple mixes are all that was ordered from him.

They usually don’t do the same thing together for efficiency’s sake. If Merlin gathers the herbs, then Bedivere usually stays home to attend to villagers who might need to buy premade medicine. She also knows how to do a very basic examination, so she can help with that, too, if needed. That way, when Merlin comes home, he can just get started with making new medicine.

But this situation is different because they need a lot of herbs. Even if Merlin spends the whole day gathering herbs, he won’t be able to finish. After all, for this particular job, it was the king who requested emergency salves enough for his whole army. The king—

Bedivere places her hands on her head. “The king… requested the…”

Merlin’s smile fades.

The king, the king, the king—

Right.

The king.

The king needs her help. She has a duty left unfulfilled. The king is suffering, and it’s all because she failed to fulfill her duty. The king—

“…M-Merlin, what is the purpose of this farce!?”

Their humble house fades into a bunch of pink petals. Suddenly, she finds herself in Avalon again.

Merlin lets out a disappointed sigh. “…I see. Your mental strength is impeccable. As expected of someone who managed to remain sane after a journey that lasted more than a thousand years.”

“…I need to leave now. I can’t keep the king waiting any longer.”

“Mmm, how careless of me. Of course it was a bad idea to designate a king as our client.” Merlin smiles again. Even if Merlin’s smile usually comforts her and makes her feel warm, right now, his smile just seems empty. Instead of the warmth that should be here, Bedivere just felt scared. “Don’t worry. I’ll get it right now.”

“…W-What, what are you even—”

\--

(#2)

“Good morning, Bedivere.”

Bedivere shuts her eyes tighter as the sunrays shine on her face. She turns to her side to escape from it, and she hears a chuckle. “Come on. It’s time to wake up. You said you'll help me collect herbs today.”

She groans, slowly opening her eyes. The man in front of her has a fond smile as he watches. One of his elbows rest on her bed while he sits on the floor. He seems so contented just watching even if he was telling her to get up and she hasn’t done anything to indicate that she's about to comply.

Her mind still feels a bit fuzzy, and it takes a few more seconds before she remembers what she's supposed to be doing.

Right. She promised Merlin that she will help him gather herbs and assist him in crafting a curative tonic that was requested from him. Ever since they got married, Bedivere has helped Merlin with his various duties as the kingdom’s doctor. Bedivere herself isn’t really educated in medicine, but Merlin has taught her how to craft weak medicine and salves for when she herself might need it. Since then, she takes the chance to help when these simple mixes are all that was ordered from him.

They usually don’t do the same thing together for efficiency’s sake. If Merlin gathers the herbs, then Bedivere usually stays home to attend to villagers who might need to buy premade medicine. She also knows how to do a very basic examination, so she can help with that, too, if needed. That way, when Merlin comes home, he can just get started with making new medicine.

But this situation is different because they need a lot of herbs. Even if Merlin spends the whole day gathering herbs, he won’t be able to finish. After all, for this particular job, it was the priest who requested salves enough for his missionaries. The missionaries will leave this kingdom and brave unknown lands, and the priest found it appropriate for them to have some medicine with them in case of emergency.

Not like their simple medicine and balms will do anything when they get attacked. Bedivere has heard of what the Romans did to Christians. The Romans—

“The missionaries need our medicine because… T-The Romans, they—”

Merlin’s face turns blank.

The Romans, the Romans, the Romans.

Right.

The Romans.

Camelot’s natural enemy back in the day. The king never smiled even when they won battles. It was almost as if she was silently mourning something. And that one time, that one day, Bedivere saw her smile. It was because of that why she's still striving forward to this day. And now, the king needs her to fulfill her duty, the one that she failed—

“Merlin, stop this at once! I need to fulfill my duty!”

“I see. Maybe this time period itself is no good. It reminds you too much of the truth because it _is_ the truth.” Merlin hums. “All right, I understand. Well, then, let me try again. The more you resist, the stronger magic I’ll have to use. You don’t want me to do a permanent deletion of information you know, do you? Don’t force me to overwrite them…”

“…H-Huh? Permanent… w-what—”

\--

(#242)

“Ahh… Y-You're so… Are we really doing this?”

Merlin is lying behind her on the bed, arms wrapped around under her belly, peppering kisses on her neck. His lips have always been soft. ~~She hasn’t done such things with Merlin long enough to know that his lips have always been soft.~~ Wherever he kisses—her lips, her forehead, her neck—his lips have the power to make her heart tingle in happiness. It’s as if they always know where to kiss and how to kiss. It’s as if Merlin knows her body so intimately.

~~‘ _I know your body like the back of my hand. Don’t I make you happy like this? Don’t leave me._ ’~~

It’s almost impressive how it’s always been like this even before they got married. ~~Bedivere never had a long-term relationship with him, much less married anyone.~~ On their first night together, Merlin already knew how to make her feel good. There were even instances when it was he who made her realize that she likes a certain thing to be done to her.

“If you're hesitating, it’s okay to tell me.”

“N-No, it’s just… it’s a bit embarrassing.”

Merlin chuckles. His kisses travel from her neck to the areas nearer her jaw. “Embarrassing? How so?”

“W-Well… For one, I feel really… huge. Like this.”

“And?”

“Isn’t it unattractive?”

Merlin delivers a particularly long kiss on her lips before he replies. “I’ll never find you unattractive, especially not when you're carrying my child.”

_~~Let me leave, just let me leave, my king needs me, you of all people should understand this, why did you let a child come into this—~~ _

“Please, you flatter me too much…”

“Mmm, I don’t flatter you enough.” He lifts her nightgown and slips a hand inside her underwear. Ever since her pregnancy started to show, she started wearing looser clothing. ~~‘ _Have you been keeping count? No? Haha, right, it’s not like you can. But for the record, it’s your fifth month here. Why don’t you just stay with me?_ ’~~ She was so anxious about doing this right that she pretty much read every ‘pregnancy tips’ books or articles she could get her hands on. She remembers that one tip she read recommended using loose clothes. ~~Avalon doesn’t have the resources for her to do any of these.~~

She closes her eyes when Merlin inserts a finger inside her. It really has been a while. ~~‘ _I’ll keep doing this until the world itself ceases to exist, Bedivere._ ’~~ She didn’t even realize that maybe she missed it just a bit. It’s not like she was the type to get ‘in the mood’ often—as with everything about her, she thinks her drive should just be average. But what knows she loves for certain is bonding with Merlin.

She loves it when Merlin touches her and makes her feel good, when he himself moans and shows that he too enjoys this, when he kisses her so passionately like she can disappear anytime. She has never understood why all of his actions seem to carry a feeling of such bittersweet longing. ~~‘ _Mmm, I'm sorry, Bedivere. This is all just too new for an inhuman like me. I don’t really know how to handle suddenly feeling this much love, so I can’t help but do this… You understand, don’t you? I just want to be around you all the time. Isn’t that how humans express their love?_ ’~~ She just learned to accept that maybe that’s just Merlin being passionate.

_~~This isn’t love. You're being selfish, Merlin—~~ _

_~~‘Selfish? Ahaha! I watched humans kill for love. I'm just doing it the way that will make a human like you happy. Come on… I'm trying my best here.’~~ _

~~‘ _I want you to be mine and mine alone. Stay with me here._ ’~~

He sucks on the back of her neck as he slips another finger inside her. His fingers move gently and precisely. It never takes long for her body to feel hotter and for her heart to beat much faster whenever they do this. He slides down her underwear, and she feels his cock on her entrance almost immediately.

She sighs happily as he slides inside, and she puts her hand on top of the free one under her belly. Merlin chuckles and kisses the back of her neck gently. She can feel his gentle smile even if she can’t see him. “Does it feel weird?”

“Mmm, no, it’s okay.”

“Mmm.” He keeps kissing the back of her neck for a bit before burying her face on it. “I love you so much... I still can’t believe that you're now the mother of my child.”

_~~‘You're still human, you know. You agreed to sleep with me. Why are you so surprised that you bear my child now?’~~ _

That sends a pleasant feeling to her chest, but she feels a bit embarrassed as well. “It’s already been five months, you know.”

“You're right.” He chuckles. “I just really can’t believe it, still.”

_~~He kisses her belly with a blank smile. ‘We’re going to be such a happy family together.’~~ _

He thrusts inside deeper, and they both groan. He caresses her belly and thumbs the back of her hand. She never thought that she’ll be doing something like this while pregnant, but this is apparently normal to do, and doctors on the health websites that they trust said that it should be safe too. ~~Bedivere has no way or reason to know about modern technology.~~

Like always, with new experiences, Merlin still manages to keep her comfortable. She moans just a bit harder when Merlin’s cock touches her deeper inside. He picks up his pace, but she can tell that he's not being as fast or as hard the way he did when she wasn’t pregnant. Even so, his gestures feel so controlled and focused on her that even such a slow but steady pace felt good.

Soon enough, she feels herself reaching her climax, and she tightens her hand on Merlin’s. All she can think about is how happy she is to be here with him. ~~‘ _You WILL like it here.’_~~ He pulls out, but he remains behind her. She can feel his cock pressing against her ass, some of his cum getting on her skin, as he keeps peppering kisses on her neck until the area under her shoulders.

“Can you turn around? Or is it too difficult to maneuver?”

“Hmm… I can still do it, but it really would be easier if you move instead.”

“All right. Anything for you.”

~~‘ _I can grant you anything that your heart desires. Well, except leaving me, that is._ ’~~

Merlin transfers in front of her, making sure to not hit her anywhere even accidentally. As soon as he finds a comfortable position, he places his hands on her cheeks and plants a soft peck on her lips. Somehow, she feels a bit more embarrassed now that they can see each other, but his peaceful and pleased expression really helps her feel better.

Whenever Merlin looks at her, he just seems so contented that she's here with him. She really finds that confusing because if there's anyone here who should be more grateful about this situation, it should be her. Merlin is on a completely different league from her. She still often wonders why he chose to marry her at all.

_~~Why me? I'm just a normal person. I don’t deserve your affection, so please just pick someone else. I need to do my duty, Merlin!~~ _

_~~‘Mmm? What makes you think a normal person is not exactly what I want? You're the most human among the knights. Your emotions have always been the most delicious.’~~ _

“Your breasts have gotten big, haven’t they?” Merlin has a mischievous smile on his face as he says that. “Your body is ready to feed my child… That’s so beautiful. It really shows that you're mine.”

~~‘ _I’ll make sure to create the best illusions. We can live as humans, and so will our child. He will never have to feel like an outsider._ ’~~

She feels her face heat up. “Don’t be so perverted about it…”

Despite what she said, Merlin reaches for her breasts. She softly gasps as he starts massaging them, doing small circular motions with his hands. She noticed during her pregnancy that her breasts have started to feel more sensitive than they were, so this gentle and relatively muted gesture already feels more intense than it should be.

He carefully moves her clothes, just enough for her breasts to be uncovered. The straps of her nightgown slides from her shoulders. He leans forward and gives her breasts one soft kiss each. He has his eyes closed, a small smile on his face, and Bedivere can’t help but feel that he just looks so handsome like this. This genuine, peaceful smile is one that only she usually sees. In public, his smiles tend to be more mischievous and unreadable.

She places a hand on his head and touches his hair. He kisses her breasts again, then he moves a bit lower to kiss her nipples. He licks one of them and takes it into his mouth. She gasps again, her heightened sensitivity making her curl her toes. Her entire upper body, especially her face, suddenly feels like it’s on fire.

“M-Merlin… That’s… I'm already producing milk, you know…”

~~‘ _Amazing… See, your body is already ready. You're the only one left with such unsightly hesitation. Say, what kind of family do you like?_ ’~~

_~~I just want to complete my duty, Merlin…~~ _

__

_~~‘…That wasn’t my question.’~~ _

His lips curl a bit as he opens his eyes to meet hers. Even without words, she knows that he's saying, ‘I know’. He continues sucking on the nipple while toying with the other one, and even if he isn’t being particularly harsh, her sensitivity is enough to keep her gasping and her body hot. His eyes appear to be twinkling, and she can’t look away no matter how embarrassed she is.

He very slightly tugs on the nipple that he's sucking using his lips. She moans. She didn’t expect that to feel so good.

He pulls away and lets out his tongue, only for him to take it back inside as soon as she sees it. It’s only been five months since her body has started to undergo these changes, so she's still surprised that her body really is producing milk now and pretty much is prepared to be a mother.

Or technically, she already is one now.

~~‘ _What name do you want for our child? …Hm? No answer? Don’t be so cold._ ’~~

Merlin proceeds to suck on her other nipple and toy with the previous one this time. The bit of saliva he left spreads around his fingers and on the other parts of her breast. The feeling of the one being sucked on now, despite her already experiencing it on the other, still surprised her and made her gasp.

Merlin seems amused as he reaches a hand to put some of her hair behind her ear.

She's getting really embarrassed like this. Merlin is focusing entirely on her pleasure. She remembers to reach for his cock with her hand. He adjusts his position to make it easier for her. His cock is hard and leaking, but he didn’t seem to care. He just wanted to shower her with pleasure. She wants to spoil him too, so she jerks him off with a motion that’s familiar to her by now. She was pretty bad at it at first, but the more they spent time with each other, she became less nervous. At the end of the day, she just wanted to bond with him and make him feel good, and that was the most important part of this.

He moans softly as he sucks on her nipple, a small smile on his face. The vibration of his moan makes her whole body tingle. She can’t believe that that’s how sensitive her breasts have gotten. She picks up the pace of her hand, and each time he moans or makes any sound of pleasure, she just feels a sense of contentment. He starts to suck harder the faster she jerks him off that her hand almost stops moving. She's trembling, her heart is beating so fast, and her body is hotter than it has ever been

Merlin cums in her hand, and when he does, he kisses her. One of his hands was on her cheek, the other threading his fingers through her hair, and when he finishes his orgasm, he wraps her in an embrace. He has his eyes closed, but Bedivere can’t do the same. She can’t keep her eyes off of him. He just looks so peaceful and happy. Watching him like this just makes her heart feel warm.

“I love you. You know that, right?”

Bedivere smiles. “Of course.”

“…Tell me you love me too.”

_~~‘Why won’t you say it?’~~ _

__

_~~‘Say it, say it, say it, say it—’~~ _

__

_~~She loves him. That’s true. But she doesn’t want to say it because that love wasn’t supposed to amount to anything. She's not supposed to be here.~~ _

“I love you too, Merlin.”

He opens his eyes. His smile carries something that she can’t really read, but she pays it no mind. “Ah… Finally…”

“Don’t tease me… You act like I never say it.”

“No, no, of course you always say it.” He chuckles, the smile never leaving his face. “Say, Bedi… What name do you want for our child?”

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry this took way longer than necessary. i think raiding oniland without sleeping really messed up my writing rhythm, and then i proceed to get entangled with a series of distractions. but it's ok, i'll do my best!!
> 
> Next prompt is Feederism, so come back if you're into that :)


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